The quest for truth has been fruitful!

Asking questions and seeking answers is like having a conversation with reality. I am fortunate most of my life experiences do not constitute the “whole story.” My new theory is that everything in this world that seems fake and grotesque is only a misrepresentation of an original something that is beautiful and true.

The next question to fathom is whether the distorted and grotesque things of this world were ever part of the original good? What changed them?

I posited lately that the maybe the path to a better world was to look inside ourselves to see whether there may be any blame, or conditions where we failed to be our best selves, or ideas we have boasted that prove upon later reflection to be erroneous? People here celebrate Lent. I have been eating lots of lentils but I can’t say for sure whether there is any relation.

I went to a Lent celebration. The experience was like a native American sweat lodge (which was a mystery I’ve been eager to explore). The high heat and pressure in the presence of the powerful energy source forces the toxins of body and spirit to the surface.

The experience may be closely related to the experience of pain where according to CS Lewis, we may become acutely aware of reality and ourselves in it. But, the service didn’t hurt; except I remembered that I dressed up as Madonna in High School for Halloween and thought I was very cool. That was painful. I hate Halloween.

Perhaps I better qualify my previous statement by saying: I believe CS Lewis means that when we suffer pain we experience truth about our selves and reality we cannot experience otherwise. (Except to a different degree in a hot house, or Lenten service).

It is sort of like Olympic champions press themselves to achieve. They suffer and endure on purpose, they practice, practice, practice. In so doing, they shed their less than best selves and illusions and pursue their best selves and their highest ideal of what they may become.

So, the great news is there is redemption from our less than best selves. I believe then the goal is to love that Madonna emulating, Diet Coke drinking, Hollywood child of hell that I was and remembered during Lent. Maybe? 🤔

The Great Commandment says: to love God and love others as we love ourselves. We must loves ourselves. We don’t have to like ourselves. That’s why we sweat. That’s why we suffer!

If I have to love that person (and I must) because love is the only thing that can save me from my worse self, I believe I must find out what the mirror is in that strange dream I had about priests (“Where’s the Manna?”) .

In the dream there were priests sitting about doing monk things. The one in charge had a black hole in his chest – where his heart was supposed to be.

I remembered later (and did not include in that blog post mentioned above), his chest had a round mirror on a swivel – the kind you might use for shaving. It aimed upwards and light reflected off it. Perhaps it was the source illuminating the scene of the rather wretched monks?

Anyhow, if the wretched priest had a mirror maybe I have one, too. Maybe his is just not working properly, otherwise his heart would not be black.