Today, after several months of learning how to function as a digital citizen, I am a reluctant one at best. Being a modern person requires learning a whole new language, I discovered.

It’s a new world and has it’s own language. Young people know it. And, it’s not likely they are going to learn My language. So, I have to step in the direction of making peace with culture, such as it is. Somehow.

Kicking and screaming has abated. My blood pressure rises at times.

I gave an earful of displeasure to the fifth USAA customer ‘service’ person who said: “You must jump through this hoop now; wriggle around in this net… Then, we’d like 4 ways to confirm you are You” (so more digital jumps and tricks to perform). “THEN we will help you.”

“Is this helping Me?” I said. This isn’t easier than going to Rist Insurance in Turners Falls- a place where I dealt with human beings!

I know a labyrinth when I see one. It’s a maze and I must perform all the necessary ‘steps’ to access the cheese (insurance coverage, in this case).

So I must jump, writhe, squirm, dot this “i,” cross that “T” -just the way I am told- or, NO CHEESE for me.

“But, this isn’t easier than talking to a human being,” I said to the support person (who may or may not be human). “The system” created for my benefit and to make things easier for me, isn’t really achieving either.

“You work for me,” I said. (The system is an Octopus. It doesn’t understand English.)

I may be a peon to the insurance company. But, I am no peon to the universe. I have agency! And, the universe and I know an Octopus when we see one, and how to deal with it!