What an odd phenomenon that the past several years I lived in an environment where I’d be abused most hostile-y for saying something outside the ‘controlled narrative’ of acceptable speech. It’s odd because Jesus says: You will be accountable for every word you speak.

Ok, Jesus, I get. It only took about 8 years to sink in, but I get it!

I wonder if writing words is the same as speaking them. My object of writing was to make sense of my existence, create some order out of chaos. And, I am discovering some order that pre-exists me, so that I don’t have create order myself. I can just align myself with what is true. Otherwise, I am toast. The world is fraught with danger for me.

I have to do inventory. This would have been great to know sooner. One doesn’t want to waste breath on speech that is not fruitful. This experience of living in a controlled environment certainly taught me how to choose my words carefully.

Words are powerful. They can hurt. Cause fear, pain. Confusion.

I need my existence to make sense and matter. Also, I would like to have some kind of orientation to the world that is not dominating (trying to control). But, I can not allow myself to be dominated either.

The world now is so full of words, people speaking constantly, I am going to need a filter. I don’t want to create fear, confusion, or pain, for example. Also, I’d like to avoid people who have no filter. So, that I am not absorbing verbal toxins.

Unguarded speech is like verbal toxins. That explains why we should be careful what we speak.