I don’t know whether people use the word “crush” anymore for when you see someone handsome and your heart lights up like a Christmas Tree. Then, you spend hours and days trying pretend you’re fine. Even when your heart is racing and it’s difficult to concentrate or to think of anything else.

But, that’s happening. Again. I am getting good at managing it. It may have something to do with the God particle in the news.

Science I believe, now remarks on a phenomenon when a “particle” is split from the rest of its being, it can be separated by a whole universe. But, the particle finds itself. That is, the part that was missing.

So, when I said the universe may have been looking for as well while I was trying to find myself in it (a couple posts back), it may be true. I am part of the universe. Perhaps, I possess a God particle. And, God was seeking me- eager to find me- to be united because He loved me and couldn’t live without me anymore.

That’s a beautiful story. The religious experts may not want to hear my story- or believe me because well, what do I know? I like my story, I believe it’s true, too.

Its seems appropriate that Love manifest in its full form, should be so eager for us and our well-being that we may be swallowed up in it. In a state of Love, perhaps. Sort of like Virginia, only bigger.

That makes the priest’s offer very stingy by comparison. Any how, its possible I have a God particle and the handsome man I met at the gym has a God particle which is why I am experiencing heightened energy levels.

Now being a part-icle in a universe with many other particles requires that I stay in the orbit of everything I’ve learned so far: Being in a hot tub with a glass of bourbon is fun. Any more than that, I may swoon and set back the women’s equality movement a century.