After escaping my tightly controlled environment, my “conditioning” is wearing off. The kaleidoscope of my mind, being shattered, very colorful, and illuminated with all kinds of thoughts and ideas jumbled about, is the result of not being allowed to speak, think, or believe freely for nearly my whole life.

Social scientists try to ‘condition’ us how to think through education, media, and government. All our institutions have been populated by people who believe human beings need to be “controlled.” Not very nice people, actually. Very bad; very bad people.

We will tell you how to think and what to believe! You have no agency- no say in the matter, they vainly imagine.

A mechanism of social control I noticed is called “intermittent reinforcement”. If I obey my controller – I will be rewarded. If I disobey (or try to think and act independently) I will be punished. Alfred B. Skinner’s experiments of the twentieth century prove my claim. His work was integral to public education, I am told by reliable sources.

Control requires that my agency is denied: my will to act independently is bludgeoned, battered, abused over and over and over, until I surrender. Then, I am easy to control. It’s like that dream I had about priests, grinding proselytes into powder.

Twentieth century scientists are responsible for the pandemic of narcissism we are experiencing in this nation, I believe. Narcissistic abuse is like ‘social conditioning’ on steroids.

The good news is: when I experienced a worship ceremony at the local parish I wrote about a couple days ago, the frequency of the sounds and music was very harmonious and beautiful. ‘As if the music had color and light and soared around in a dance above me.

I describe social engineering as scrambling my brains with a blender and making me inoperable- making me a mindless automation. On the contrary, the frequency of heaven I experienced during an Orthodox worship service had the opposite effect. It seemed like all the pieces of my fragmented mind fell into place.

I am myself for the first time- free of fear and confusion. Whole.

The healing effect of harmonious sounds seems very real. Although, I have experienced a warning in my being before, that even experiences may not be what they appear- like priests and like reality itself.