Journals are records of journeys, like ship’s logs, a handy reference when things go awry. On the ocean of life, a degree of uncertainty is normal, I am relieved to notice. I mentioned once that women in my family had a knack of telling me to do or not do; things I may forget that are important. In their absence, the digital log must be my guiding star.

In my Chronicles Summary post, an idea emerged in my being that I can revisit my past self, choices, mistakes, and traumatic events with mercy because I had met the personification of Mercy at the Catholic Church. Love is patient and kind, always hopes, always suffers alongside the one suffering.

This is the role of Our Comforter and Guide. Rick Renner, a Greek Scholar, calls the personification of God’s help in all our affairs the Holy Spirit. “Help” seems a limited way of describing the third person of the Trinity, Rick says. Imagine all the ways we’d help people by way of comfort, encouragement, protection, sustenance, wisdom, health- if we had the power to do so? He’s the perfect helper, so He is able to do all those things we limited humans cannot do by ourselves.

So then, being mean and critical of myself is not helping. The “rule of love” mentioned yesterday is how I continue in the state of Love.

Love God, and others as I love myself. I am concerned the priest’s would not be pleased with my questioning this. In religious Orthodoxy, the ‘self’ seems a creature who is always suspect. Maybe the original teaching of Jesus is denying selfishness, self glorying, and acts that are not characteristic of Love? That makes sense.

Denying my self’s existence and needs as listed in I, Automaton, as a rule doesn’t work. How can I love anyone if I don’t first know how to deal with, manage by love my own self? This is like the concept of ‘getting your own house in order’ before trying to set others straight. 🤔 It’s possible that priests also have believed in self-denial to the point of self harm?

Sometimes, I am a real jerk compared to my loving Guide. That’s why I can go back into my past and grow up again, so to speak. Only this time, I have a Qualified Guide. Not a television set, not PBS, not a “system” of thought, or intellectual orthodoxy from the last century. Love is My Guide, according to what Jesus says.

So, first thing to do is examine stray baggage. I don’t want my beautiful, hotel-like experience to be crowded with clutter. These can be ambitions, pride (or things I need not be excessively proud of).

I just mentioned in the last paragraph what a jerk I can be. Shall I be a critical and unkind to my own self one minute, and excessively impressed with that person the next? 😄

The ship is rocking! Hold steady!

ChatGPT said that pride and ambition can be clutter: crowding out peace and creating inner chaos. He learns fast!