I try to be the kind of person that doesn’t just say: “Hey wouldn’t it be great if everybody did a soul examination; and, in the sharp light of reality- amend their destructive ways?” I do state the obvious. But, just because truth is codified in halls of yesteryear’s institutions, doesn’t make it less exciting to me when I discover it.

Epiphanies are universal. Humanity cannot live off last generations’ “big ideas.” One need to experience truth from within and without. It can’t be imposed.

Like Fyodor Dostoevsky alludes to in Brothers Karamozov – our experiences must be owned, good and bad. And, strength, liberty, and clarity is the end result.

A few posts ago, I mentioned owning my soul, as F.D. posits. Soul accounting. Remember I mentioned trembling at the prospect? I determined to see what was in there, and wondered whether I would survive…

Past memories I can’t escape no matter how hard I try?? Mistakes, shame, and guilt from acting impulsively?? Relationships I’ve lost, people I’ve failed?? Words spoken that have no where to rest once they leave my lips- like a curse haunting me??

Plus, all the things other people did to me, that I endured through no clear fault of my own- like children do. How shall I endure this moment of consciousness and survive it? I pondered guiltily.

Fear is like a great abyss where all our best hopes die. Never to return. But, when I decided to face it, Jesus was there. I don’t mean in flesh and blood, I mean in my darkness. When screwed up the courage to face what I feared the most, Jesus was there.

He communicated by His presence: I stood between you and what you feared the most: death, rejection, and shame. I took it all upon Myself because I have power over life and death.

Only He may have said it infinitely better than my typing can describe. It was like love, alive in a human being. Omniscient. So powerful it drained the life out of all hell’s ambitions to devour me. Yes, that is how it was.