There aren’t exact letters and syllables to describe what came out of my mouth lately, when approached by a “Conservation Officer.” Sort like: “Ahm DOing ‘Awl RAGHT!!”

There are occasions when I remind myself of Vanna White. As a youngest child, I had to be very convincing to get attention. I’d brim with enthusiasm and gleam from every pore trying to demonstrate my idea or plan.

Eventually I decided, maybe these people just don’t like enthusiasm or ideas?? To make use of popular break up narrative: “It’s not you, it’s me,” I decided with some people: “NO, it’s not me. It’s YOU!” Then, exited stage left.

He was a rather pleasant looking Conservation Officer. My spell check accidently wrote: “C-o-n-v-e-r-s-a-t-i-o-n Officer” which accurately reflects my anxiety about authority lately. And, speaking.

Express one un-curated opinion about the state of the world, and assume your demise! So, eventually I stopped talking. No one listening, why bother??

While Officer Army Green was approaching, I shirked about what he may say. Being a northerner in the South, I already talked too fast- like freakishly fast at first. I believe they thought I was demon- possessed.

‘Sort of how foreign species speak on Star Trek: the rhythm, speed, frequency, and pitch of the language is genuinely ‘alien.’ It’s unfamiliar, different, and hard to understand.

Fortunately, the young man only tipped his hat politely to me (as men are accustomed to treating ladies in the South). Then, he said: ” How ‘R You do_in ? ” In a warm, full-bodied, and rhythmic tone.

Then, my inner Matthew McConaughey emerged and I said: ” Ahm do_in A-h-l RA-A-GHT! HOW You Do_in ? ” With affection.

Saved! I guess my habit of picking up behaviors and words from other people comes in handy. Even if it’s just a guy on YouTube.

Officer Charm went on visiting with other folks at the park. Next on his trail was an old black man who was fishing on a bench in his flannel shirt and jeans. His loyal wife sitting in the car nearby, while he enjoyed a few hours of respite.

I hoped he isn’t shirking and wincing too as the officer approached. But, they just chatted together a wh-i-i-i-le, observing the sun on the river, and gentle waves lapping on the shore by their feet.