Little did my father know how much I enjoyed cutting his hair. We did not have a fun relationship or affectionate one necessarily. Ours was more like an awkward silence people experience during dating – where each is trying to play a role. Connection is desirable but tenuous.

Then, as ordinary humans are tempted to do, each returns to his own corner of existence and thinks hard thoughts about himself or others- neither which is helpful. It’s those bitter or resentful musings about ourselves or others that make meaningful relationships impossible, I realize now.

My father and I lived side by side a long time, like two boats in a sometimes calm- sometimes tumultuous ocean. When I cut his hair, he was my captive audience. I’d talk to him about whatever. He would oblige me by showing interest and occasionally ask me questions. Sometimes we laughed- a healthy way to reduce stress. He and I had a common need for laughing.

Eventually I realized there is a whole world going on his big head that I am buzzing, clipping, and shaping carefully so he looks sharp. He is a handsome man wherever he is now.

Despite the frailty of human relationships and the rarity of those moments with my Dad, he was a safe harbor. Sometimes a few moments of laughing with a soul on the ocean of life that is fraught with danger and temptation is all its takes to keep our humanity in tact.

My Father was not a font of inspiration. He just didn’t yet understand the secret of finding our value in a greater picture of life, perhaps.

We all make foolish choices in youth, or in moments of passion. We are tempted, too, to imagine our best laid plans and intentions ‘prove our worthiness.’ That isn’t an accurate picture of the human condition either. Our failures don’t make us irredeemable, neither do our good intentions make us guiltless.

Human beings are all made of the same stuff. The temptations, the snares, the follies. The world seems determined to blind us to this battle of life- making finding meaning difficult.

How to be our best selves isn’t exactly the driving focus of Main Stream Media. In fact, the news seems a disturbingly crafted campaign to keep us distracted from the real work of being effective, informed, and intelligent human beings.

My father and I lived side by side. Unlikely allies, mostly quiet human beings coexisting in a world gone mad. Like characters in Joseph Conrad’s story, “The Secret Sharer,” I had someone- a stranger almost. But, his existence gave me comfort. I was not alone in the world.

Daily, I saw that life was a battle I had to win for us both. Being judgmental or unforgiving of myself or others is the Adversary.